Admittedly, it was just a snippet of the first words of the initial line of a news report, but I have been known to jump to conclusions before without good results.
But when those opening comments mentioned that prostitution services were being offered up in Delaware, my first thought was, “Holy cow! They beat us to the punch again!”
Was it not bad enough that they started before we here in Maryland did with slot machine gambling? Had our gaming fortune forecast not been hit by that state’s leap ahead to table games? And now, it appeared, as the sin wars between these two states heats up, it appears they beat us to prostitution, which may or may not be considered a table game, depending.
I did, eventually, settle down to hear the full report on the matter and learned that it concerned an arrest for prostitution, thereby reconfirming the its continuing illegality up north.
I was relieved, because, and despite every effort not to jump to a second conclusion, I could almost hear in my mind some Maryland legislator arguing strenuously that our horse racing industry still needed propping up financially and that the only answer would be to institute parlor games of a different sort altogether.
Besides, he said in this imaginary monologue, the net proceeds would be used, of course, to make our schools great. The theme Hookers for High Schools came to mind.
Either that, the unreal conversation continued, or it might be proposed as a business-friendly, job growth, tourism development project for towns that have absolutely nothing going for them.
“Come to Blanksville, Where, Well, You Know …”
Obviously, none of this has happened, but it doesn’t mean it couldn’t happen at some point, what with elected officials constantly struggling to find ways to balance their budgets by deciding whether to rob Peter or Paul, depending on which one contributed the most money to their campaigns.
Should that day arrive, I sure that such a move toward legalization would not begin with a simple flat-out declaration. I think it would be more of a gradual approach, such as first decriminalizing it, in which case the possession of, or actually being, a very small hooker would be a misdemeanor.
As I say, no one I know of has suggested that anything of this nature could or would happens, but I do want it on the record that I am opposed to state-operated cathouses in any form, feeling as I do that some things are better left to free enterprise.
What I do find curious in all this, however, is that while we can’t tolerate certain people doing things to each other for money, we not only know but vote for other people who do things for money and then do it to us.
Just this week, for instance, the new congressional spending bill contains way, way down inside a provision that would triple the amount of money that can be contributed to members of Congress.
If that’s not prostitution, I don’t know what is, unless, of course, is a very small member of Congress, in which case it might be a misdemeanor.