Quick observations

Quick observations

05/29/2015

A federal court of appeals ruling this week declared that the liberal immigration policy initiated by President Obama doesn’t cut it, constitutionally speaking.

Shortly thereafter, people at Colorado State University predicted a mild hurricane season this year because of the presence of El Nino.

This was followed by a number of conservative presidential candidates calling for the deportation of El Nino on the basis that he does not have the necessary documents.

So much for our paperless society.

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I have three observations about cell phones:

1. Considering that everyone has one these days, why is it that some people still feel compelled to yell to other people who are five blocks away?

2. It used to be a mystery to me why so many people spent so much time poking and looking at their cell phones while they’re waiting for someone or something. Then I realized that they aren’t fooling with the phone at all. They’re faking it so they don’t have to talk to anyone. In other words, it’s the high-tech way of staring at your cuticles.

3.  I never did get the Bluetooth ear thing. It used to be that if you saw someone seemingly talking to himself, you did the smart thing and went to the other side of the street. Now, all crazy people need is an earpiece and they blend in.

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There was a time when the only thing I knew about big time soccer was that the game mostly consisted of men with dyed hair and short shorts running up and down a field until one of them fakes a leg injury.

Now, however, I know that soccer also consists of old men with thin hair running up and down a list of names until one of them offers a bribe.

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Dear Sir/Ma’am: My tax information was among the 100,000 accounts stolen in the IRS hacking incident this year. Is this tax deductible?

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If Drs. Philip Klotzbach and William Gray of Colorado State University are known for their annual Atlantic hurricane season predictions, it’s only fair that we get to predict when it’s springtime in the Rockies.

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