It’s amazing what you can learn by reading the newspaper. Just last week, for instance, I discovered in the Baltimore Sun that I live in the politically powerful neighborhood of Mallard Island, an assertion that has left me wondering why more people don’t listen to all my great ideas.
Don’t get me wrong, I usually can remember where I live, but my guess is that the political power thing did not convey when I bought the house.
Although my memory isn’t what it used to be, it does seem to me that the sales contract just might have said, “Seller will remove from the premises all personal items, appliances and any political power prior to closing.”
Were that not the case, then all the years I have been telling City Hall what to do would have resulted in more than eye-rolls, arched eyebrows and other forms of less polite nonverbal communication.
Also, “Hahahahahahahahahaha!” doesn’t count as a reasonable response.
Yet, there it was in print, as the Sun, for reasons that remain unclear, screamed that because of me and others like me, Ocean City was considering banning weekly rentals. Period.
This was followed by reports in other media outlets, whose approach indicated that the lifeblood of Ocean City’s tourism industry was at stake, which, considering that we have something like 20,000 rental units that are in no way involved in any of this, it clearly is not.
It is somewhat heartening, though, to hear that I might be an elitist so-and-so, having told my parents many, many years ago that I wanted to be elite when I grew up, should that ever happen.
Apparently, that has yet to occur, since I am not yet elite enough to avoid having to work for a living. Consequently, I am requesting a clarification from the Sun and others that says Mallard Island used to be a politically powerful neighborhood, and then I arrived.