Irish Kemp
Senior Slant with Irish Kemp
Senior Slant 5/17/2013
Mother teaches numbers, ABCs of life to beat of wooden spoon
Curriculum included bold and courageous tests daily
IRISH KEMP
■ Contributing Writer
(May 17, 2013) Whoa! Stop the train, this old momma wants off. Weird, but I didn’t even remember boarding a train. A bad case of forgetinitus, perhaps. How could I have forgotten the “train” of thought?
Don’t tell my publisher, Dobson, but if he can get away with repeating himself, I said to myself, “why not I?” Let’s say the devil made me do it. Besides, last Sunday was Mother’s Day.
Thanks to my “Eight is Enough” family, mounds of memories of my days in the mother “hood” appear on the old cards I saved for years. Oh yeah, more than a few claim I was a nagger and a screamer. As my kids’ memories grow, mine diminish.
Yeah, kids, mean mothers were a dime a dozen in the olden days. Sans parental skills, I used words and on rare (my word not theirs) occasions to the beat of the old wooden spoon, I taught them their numbers and the ABCs of life, such as ATTITUDE APPREHENSION and ARITHMETIC — “Don’t roll those eyes at me” “Wait till your dad gets home and finds out you broke his favorite putter, you’ll…
Senior Slant 5/3/2013
Daily ‘edjeecation,’ vegan cupcakes and Arbor Day at Northside
Busy writer touches on just about everything this week
IRISH KEMP
■ Contributing Writer
(May 3, 2013) Ummm-ummm good! Digesting the Washington Post every morning makes for an ongoing “edjeecation” for this plump old broad. I look forward to the gossip column. Especially when a lobbyist for (take a deep breath on this one) “the Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine” uses food to attract the young “Hill” staffers.
Elizabeth Kuchinist’s captive audience on Earth Day at the Capitol Visitors Center was so eager to munch on the free lunch of kale chips, cucumber gazpacho and stuffed grape leaves and drink the “reverse osmosis” water that they almost overlooked the vegan cupcakes. And I thought that the green veggies that my baby boomers unwittingly gulped down while watching Howdy Doody was the answer to making them healthy, wealthy and wise. H’mm … two outta three ain’t bad.
Vegan cupcakes, how cool is that? Laced with brownies, no doubt.
The Arbor Day celebration at our beautiful Northside Park brought back memories of that valuable piece of real estate in the ’70s. …
Senior Slant 4/26/2013
Approaching Springfest brings thoughts of longtime volunteer
Former Rockette Villani led ‘Seniorettes’ for years
IRISH KEMP
■ Contributing Writer
(April 26, 2013) My cover has been blown! This old broad, a charter member of WAM&S (Women Against Mornings and Stoves) has been spotted driving on Coastal Highway and on Route 54 at the ungodly hour of 7 a.m. No time to waste these days — if you hafta pass, proceed with caution. DON’T BLOW THE HORN! My trying to be a nice person in the early hours of the morn is a work in process.
It could be my imagination, but I get the weird feeling that some close relatives so wanna be the boss of me these days. There was no such thing as “time out” when Skip and I were raising our passel of eight (Dobson’s word, not mine.)
Over the years, I’ve had my share of critics. I’ve even ticked Santa off. So what if I unwittingly left a kid at Citizen Bank in Prince George Mall, with a dire warning, “Don’t talk to strangers.” My last born claims I sent him to his room all day on a school day. My Sarah Bernhardt swears she enrolled in kindergarten all by herself.
Not to worry, I’m totally aware of their “payback is hell” tactics.…
