(Dec. 14, 2012) ’Twas the week before Christmas when Santa suddenly appeared on Irish’s deck. He was a wreck. Totally discombobulated, if you get my drift. Miz Santa was bodaciously, humongously miffed. After she had words with him about their own fiscal cliff, he missed his curfew by an hour or so three nights in a row.
He “thunk “ Irish would believe his tale of woe about falling into the ozone hole, but she rolled her eyes and shouted, “No!”
“Best you check out the town’s good and bads,” she screeched, “especially those guys who think you’re totally rad. Such as OC Today’s irascible publisher, Stewart, R&P’s Shuster and Sully, bad, bad Bobby Burns, Skip, Phils and Bills, Holsons, Zack and the rest of the pack, Luke, Jims, Jacks, Joes, Bobs and Robs.
“Bernies, Jerrys, Waldo, Ken, Ben, Ryan, Ray and Gary, Howard, Charlies, Wes and Paul, Dickie, Rick, Steve and Nick. Some of them are so easily impressed, they’re a mess. Trust me, men never do what they oughta do.
“You ’spect me to believe you fell in a hole? Try tellin’ that one to a pole.”
Looking at her with a silly grin, he knew for sure he wasn’t gonna’ win. You’d best check on the sometimes naughty but nice, such as the Barbaras, Dianes and Frans, Terrys, and Gerrys, Nadine, Sara, Rosy, Kathys, Judys and Sues, Fayes, Rosy, BJ, Sharons, Naomi, Tracey, Mary, Pats, Joans, Ritas, Maureens, Betty, Helens, Ceils, Sandy and Brandi, Lisa, Nancy, Betty, Elaine, Christine and Kristinas, Naomi, Jenny, Pegs, Jenny and a few Deloreses, of course.
Think special for the December birthday kids, Del and Peg, Rick and Katie, Jim Mooney, Jeanne Langan, Joe Cain and Elaine Kennedy, Jim and Martha Stone, Bob Bowman, Pat Dembeck, Jan Russell, Phil Guarino, Marilyn Pietruska, and especially Annette Altavater and Merry Rohrer, who were born on Christmas Day.
Not to worry ’bout Skip, Joe Trilling, Pat and Jim Halsey, Mary Ellen, Theresa or me, our present showed up before the tree, thanks to a guy named RG III. The Redskins win was a thrill to see, especially on an oversized TV. Hail to the Redskins!
On his way back to the Pole on Christmas Eve, Santa got his reprieve. Out of nowhere there rose such a clatter, he knew in an instant what was the matter. Rudolph’s red nose was all aglow, he veered sharply to the left to avoid that big hole. Santa grabbed his camera and took a shot all for naught. Tossed outta’ the sleigh, in the exact same spot, all he could think was, “Man, this place is hot.” Landing on his derriere, he knew not whether he was here or there.
“Am I all alone in the atmosphere?”
Outta’ nowhere the birthday kid appeared, with all Santa’s gear and nine tiny reindeers. Sorry, Santa, when it comes to ’puters, this old guy knows nuthin. Four nights straight, I pushed the wrong button. Back at the Pole, you need not fear, I told Miz Santa what happened here. Be sure and give Delmarvians a lot of credit for helping the less fortunate reduce their debit. Merry Christmas, big guy, have one for me!
C U in OC Today!